Friday, 28 June 2013

Friday 28th June 2013

It's Friday, which of course is reason to smile. However it's pissing down and a morning dog walk in the rain is not what I was in the mood for. The rain has of course, temporarily, brought back my breathing and curbed the hayfever nightmare I was suffering. Thanks rain and now fuck off.
We strolled over to the new metro stop on Burton Road, but my phone was playing up and decided to go into spaz mode for about 15 minutes, so the nice shot I got of the tram was lost in the ether. Oh well, there you have it..... a future chapter for the blog. Instead we trudged on down Burton Road until we came to Everett Road, Withington, M20. It seems like the whole street was up for sale. Rows and rows of 'For Sale' signs lined the drives. They can't give them away. If they did though, I'd be first in line.
I took one glance at Ziggy and you could tell he was pleased as punch, that he was fortunate enough to live rent free with me. I don't know how he would afford the mortgage on a kennel of his own on his poxy salary. He'd probably resort to a life of petty crime and end up in some drying out kennel for alcoholic hounds. You stay with me pal, I'll keep you on the straight and narrow. Even if your income is shit.
As we came to the final few unwanted homes on Everett Road we happened on some hideous, stone, garden ornaments that had been placed either side of someone's front door. I hope that the owners aren't thinking of selling up as there is no chance of shifting this while these hideous characters guard the entrance. I wonder what Ziggy would look like cast in stone?
 Well, that was Everett Road. We managed to squeeze in a quick shot of Ziggy by the road sign, but as you can tell from the slight blurring on his face, he was not happy to be sat in the rain. Either that or those horrid stone lions had put the willies up him.

Thursday, 27 June 2013

Thursday 27th June 2013

I wrote a song called 'Grass Seeds' a few years back. It was written at the time, as a response to my suffering from Hayfever. It was, in all fairness, a pretty shite song, but I was reminded of it when going through a particularly violent sneezing session this morning. Ziggy and I set off and as soon as we were out the door I was blasting mucus from my nasal corridors at a rate of knots. One atchoo after atchoo followed until I was sweaty, dizzy and miserable. God damn you flowers! So pretty and unassuming, yet so dangerous to the sensitive tissue in my nose. Here is one of the culprits in a neighbour's garden. I was temnpted to pluck it from it's stem, stamp on it and scream "You fucking, flowery fucker! You are ruining my nose and my morning, you stupid, beautifully petalled prick!!"........ but I thought better of it and took a quick snap instead.
We carried on down Clyde Road, West Didsbury, M20 until we came to a rather old fashioned street sign and thought it best that I snap Ziggy here. This is our home street and we have lived here for over a year now. Overall, living here has been mostly kind to us and we don't really have much to complain about. Apart from:
1) The stupid German Shepherd that takes itself for a walk every morning and shits big piles of tonka truck sized, brick-red shit everywhere. German Shepherd, we know it's you and we are not happy about it. Wanker dog.
2) The ridiculously high kerbs. Not only have you meddled with the tracking on my car you are also responsible for scraping the bottom of the front of my car every time I reverse of the drive. You are probably not causing that much damage to the car, but the horrible, crunching, scream that comes from the undercarriage when I drive off the drive is enough to make me believe that you have ripped the engine from the bonnet and my heart from my chest. Stop hurting me and my car you tall bastard.
Here is Ziggy on Clyde Road:

 We continued down the aforementioned German Shepherd's favourite toilet or 'Dog-Shit Alley' as I call it, which leads us out onto Northern Grove. A nice little street, with lots of nice cars in disgusting colours. One family here has 2 new BMWs parked on their drive. One is banana-yellow and the other is poo-brown?! Who buys a brand new BMW 4x4 in bloody brown?! Too much money leads to dysentery decision making.
There is one car on this street though, which for me is a real beauty. It's got eyes like a frog and it's got three flat tyres. It clearly doesn't get to do the miles it so rightly deserves, but it's amazing..... Ladies and Gentlemen, I present and leave you with......... the Citroen DS! What a corker!

Wednesday, 26 June 2013

Tuesday 25th June 2013

Ahh..... Tuesday! The sun has returned and today looks clearer and brighter. Ziggy awoke early at 5am with much bounce and verve. The little man clearly wants a little run around the park, so off we go to Marie Louise Gardens, which is situated on Palatine Road, West Didsbury, M20.

The park is a bit of a hidden gem and Ziggy and I only found it, by literally stumbling across it after a few summery beers a few years ago. It's a nice little park and some lucky sod gets to have their house slap bang in the middle of the park! Imagine that?! .......Your back garden is a park. Only horrible tramps and nasty paedophiles get to say that their back garden is a park! Here is a photo of a photo of the house from a notice board in the park. Sepia-tastic and not a tramp nor paedo in sight.
To the side of the park is a mosaic sundial, created as a community project to celebrate the return of a sqaure of land adjacent to the park lodge. It's made up of some nice bits of mosaic work. Ziggy wasn't very interested in bits of broken pot and decided instead to bolt off after a little black puppy called Lola. He steam rolled her out the way and attempted to steal the gentleman's tennis ball slinger out of his hand. This morning, Ziggy is acting out his role as "a little shit" and I politely tell him so as he goes back on the lead and is marched back to the sundial for a photograph.
 We're on the way out of the park, I'm sweating and Ziggy is panting. Well, he is trying to pant, but the big stick in his mouth is certainly an obstacle to panting. The stick is pulled from his mouth. Here we are next to the sign for Palatine Road. Cue the panting. Now hurry up Ziggy, I'm late for work.

Friday, 21 June 2013

Friday 21st June 2013

We set off late on our morning meander through the streets of West Didsbury, due in the main part to me trimming my beard and having to wash all the hairs off the sink and down the plughole. Ziggy was not to blame for our tardiness, so don't pin the blame on his hairy shoulders. Today we set off for the closest municipal park to our homestead. It's only a five minute stroll to Cavendish Road Park, which strangely enough sits on Cavendish Road. On the way, Ziggy and I happened across a rather large collection of empty beer bottles in the alley way. Someone has had an enjoyable evening! Alley ways are usually the place to find people pissing out all the beer they drank at the pub that night. I wonder if the drinkers of these bad boys drank all the beer in the alley and then wandered into the pub and pissed against the bar.
We arrived at the park in good time to see a familiar dog walker hobbling along on her crutch with her Cloud Dog (Bichon Frise) dashing here and there on the end of an extendable lead. We see her from time to time. She never says hello or anything but her dog and Ziggy exchange some sort of "G'morning" dog glance.
Don't get me wrong, Cavendish Road park is a nice park. However we have been here in the evening when all the posh dogs come out to play and poor Ziggy does get some wary looks from the posh dogs and the posh owners. I let him off to play once, and got the most disgusted look from one woman, as he hurtled across to wrestle with her miniature, diamond encrusted, dachshund. Safe to say, the dachshund and the woman both shat themselves and left the park. ASBO for Ziggy. Here is a colourful snap of the children's play area.
I couldn't get a snap of Ziggy next to the sign for Cavendish Road, as the sign was situated quite high up on the side of a house and Ziggy's climbing skills are piss poor. Instead we left the park via the Cavendish Avenue exit and here is the main man stood in the shadow of Cavendish Avenue sign.

Thursday, 20 June 2013

Thursday 20th June 2013

The sun did not shine as much this morning as it did on yesterday's little AM adventure. As we happened across this advertisement for iced treats, neither Ziggy nor I felt in the mood for any of the iced treats that a summer normally brings........ a Feast..... a Solero........ a Fab........... a Chunky Choc Ice (Dad's Favourite).......... a Strawberry Mivvi (Mum's favourite).
The humble Cornetto..... the staple of any Grandparents freezer. Shoved in there as a peacemaker for rowdy, sweaty, over excited grandchildren who come to stay on a weekend. I don't think my Nana and Grandad would have survived without these ice cream dummies. Although I never did like the Mint Choc Chip Cornetto...... please.... mint?! There is only one place for mint and that's on a toothbrush. The advert claims this Cornetto to be the best Cornetto ever! The lengths they must have gone to, to improve not only the ice cream, but the soggy wafer cone?! Well done Walls......... now pass me a Twister.

We strolled down Spath Road, Didsbury M20 this morning. This was the site of my first Mancunion home. Albeit a temporary and rather unpleasant home. I lived on this road at what would appear to be an old, abandoned hall of residence. Needham Halls was it's name and if I'm honest it's a stay I would much rather forget. My abiding memories are of sleeping under my parka, eating tins of cold ravioli and praying that my mum and dad would come back quick, pick me up and get me out of this fucking shithole...... oh and pissing in the little sink by the side of my bed. Classy. Here is the pillar at the gate of building. It's been converted into a block of luxury apartments now. Bet the new residents don't piss in sinks. Shame.

Wednesday, 19 June 2013

Wednesday 19th June 2013

This here is the first post in my new blog.......... Look who's walking who........ It's a breezy little journal based loosely around the exploits of me and my dog Ziggy's morning strolls around the streets of wherever we might be strolling at that time. We will chronicle things we sniff/find and daydream about massive houses in Didsbury which we wished we could own, but will probably never set foot through the door, lest we be arrested for trespassing.

Today we found/sniffed this little pink, rubbery item...... no it's not a used Johnny. You don't get street shaggers in West Didsbury darling!! It's a stray Croc shoe, possibly once owned by a woman at crisis with herself. These functional, disgusting rubber slip-ons are the footwear of choice for nurses, gardeners and hipster grandmas.... Personally, I think they are revolting things.
Our next stop took us to the surroundings of Ballbrook Avenue, Withington, M20. This pretty little street is home to some very well-off people indeed. Here is Ziggy looking very well-off next the Ballbrook Avenue sign. Don't look so scared Ziggy! We 'aint gonna get mugged down here old bean!!
We did happen across a young business man who was so well-off that he could afford to have his own personal bollard installed behind his fancy BMW on his own drive! My word, on my road I can only hope that a brown wheelie bin placed behind my car can dissuade potential Daewoo thieves.
I leave you with a shot of Ballbrook Avenue in the morning glow.